You’d think they would get easier, but they don’t. My heart sinks fighting back the reality of our departure as I desperately attempt to hold back the tears. When did she grow up? It seems just yesterday she would whistle her way into my room eager to “borrow” a few of my clothes. But today as I kiss her rosy cheeks and hug her ever so tightly, the good-bye hits hard. She’s a woman. She is a beautiful, Jesus loving, heart wide-open woman. I miss her more than the weight of these words could ever describe. Tears escape rolling onto the notepad as I type. I must let my heart feel the ache of this vacancy. I will no longer push it down and hide it with busyness. I must “stay WITH” God here (right now) in this uncomfortableness and invite Him into the tender places where a piece of my heart lives outside of me. I must allow Him to usher in more truth, more healing and more life. He alone is my comforter. And in the stillness, I can hear Him. In the stillness, He restores my soul. In the stillness, I am able to trust HIM more and more.
HE has my baby girl. He loves her more than I do. I don’t know how that is possible, but it is. As much as I want a “total do-over” and more time before this new phase, I love watching her grow and mature and become her truest self. She is so radiant, honest, and a lover of God and others. She is full of dreams, passions, and life. Her options are endless and her God is the giver of LIFE. Every day is a new opportunity and she is expectant and confident in God’s goodness. My tears flow through the sadness of our departure, but also through great joy in watching her soar (especially when she doesn’t even know she is soaring).
I choose to initiate her into womanhood and celebrate her new journey. It is her time to fly and I will not clip her wings, nor hold her back. I will bless her and cheer her on, trusting her heart is held by OUR GOD.
PS. I wrote this several years ago and wanted to share with all the moms who are sending their precious ones into a new season TO FLY. They need you to cheer them on and not hold them back. They need you to bless and release them, not hover and smother. God’s got them! And He has got you too.