I dieted most of my life longing to be prettier, skinner, and delighted in. I viewed myself as fat and unlovely no matter what I weighed or how I looked. I have been disgusted and dissatisfied with body parts. I have focused on what I despised and never what was beautiful or functioned flawlessly.
I never valued the brilliance of sight, life, and beauty that came through my hazel eyes; I only saw ugliness and deficiency when I looked in the mirror. I never thought about my heart beating perfectly; I only felt it ache. I never appreciated the way my fingers pecked the buttons on the keyboard or held a wooden spoon; I only noticed the food they shoved into my mouth to numb a craving. I never cherished the way I used my arms to embrace my children; I only noticed the excess fat hanging off when I waved. I was never grateful for my legs carrying me from one place to the next; I only hated the dimples that appeared as I aged. My focus was strictly on appearance and never the gift of the function. I listened to what the world and others said was beautiful, attractive, and sexy instead of what my Creator deemed wonderful and made in His image.
As a woman I only nourish the things I love. Therefore, not loving myself leads to lack of caring for myself. Feeling unattractive and unlovely especially towards my husband causes our sexual intimacy to be strained. Once I began seeing myself through the eyes of the LORD and not through the mirror of the world I began to embrace the imperfections and appreciate my body and how it gives, performs, and offers.
The more I loved my body the more intimate I became with my man. I quit turning the lights off and hiding under the covers. Love freed me to offer myself more and embrace him more. I discovered true self worth is based on God’s love not a number calculated by a scale nor my mirror image. This mind shift takes time. It is a journey. I am taking one step at a time, and embracing truth. Truth is: I am His creation. I am beautiful. I am loved. Therefore, I am free to love my body.
Take one action step this week:
1 – Take two minutes each day. For the first minute write down the things your body does that you appreciate. For the second minute look in the mirror (yes, look in the mirror) and tell yourself, “I am wonderfully and fearfully made. God faceted me together perfectly. I am a child of the Living God. I am beautiful. I love you.”
Cook one healthy meal this week: