Why Are You So Selfish?
The guilt of leaving my family and flying across the country to spend a week nurturing my mind, body, and spirit seemed selfish. I had planned this trip months prior and I was stoked about it. However, as the day drew near to depart, my mind kept whispering “Back out.”, “You don’t deserve this.”, “You should spend that money on something more important.”, “Why are you so selfish?”.
These whispers came from all directions, yet no one was voicing them out loud. Even my husband was super supportive of me going. So, what was up with the heavy cloak of guilt? The day before I left I took some intentional quiet time and began journaling. I wrote this question at the top of my page. “Why are you so selfish?”, and then I asked God to speak His truth and show me where these “whispers” were coming from. And then, I listened!
The first thing I heard was, “You KNOW (logically) you are worth it, but you don’t BELIEVE it!” I pondered those words for a moment and tears began streaming down my face. I knew I was worth it, but something still deep within me did not believe I was worth taking the time to take care of myself. I realized in that moment that taking care of everyone else was easier, validating, and applauding - right? I felt good about myself when I was helping others, doing for others, and taking care of others needs and yet when I began taking care of my own ---GUILT WOULD BEAT THE DOOR DOWN SCREAMING… “YOU ARE NOT WORTH IT.” “YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE HAPPY.”
“YOU ARE SO SELFISH!”
You know the guilt of putting yourself first – right? Think about anything you have done for yourself lately to love or nourish your heart, mind, body, and spirit.
Did you hear any whispers saying…
You should not spend this money on yourself.
You shouldn’t be away from your family.
You should be working, giving, helping, & doing for others.
You are not worth this.
You don’t deserve this.
Who do you think you are?
This is selfish! You are selfish!
Why do we know (with our heads) we are worth loving and taking care of and yet still secretly believe (with our hearts) that we are not?
God’s Word says in Matthew 22:37-39:
“Jesus declared, Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment.”
And the second is like it: “Love your neighbor as YOURSELF…” Love your neighbor as YOURSELF!
AS YOURSELF!? How are you loving yourself? I AM NOT SAYING IDOLIZE YOURSELF!!!!!! I AM SAYING LOVE - YOURSELF.
It is this last little nugget that we easily miss. And I believe this is one of the biggest nets the enemy traps God’s Daughters in. Therefore, we are running around like chickens with our heads cut off serving-serving-serving, doing-doing-doing, and helping-helping-helping. And yes, these are all “good things”, but we are missing the gold. We are great at loving others and terrible at loving ourselves. We know we are worthy, but we don’t fully believe it. This lie quietly disconnects us from the truth and allows us to settle for the instant gratification of helping others rather than loving and taking care of ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
The waves of guilt and “selfless” living are consuming us and yet we still silently long for deep BELONGING, CONNECTION, AND NOURISHING --- because we are made for it.
CAN YOU RELATE? Have you ever felt guilty for choosing yourself?
You see, I know! Because I have experienced it. By taking this trip, I showed up for myself and I received way more than I paid for. My mind, body, and spirit were nourished and the week was truly life-changing. But it took me choosing to take off the false cloak of guilt and say yes to the more God had for me. It took me saying yes to me. I would have missed so much if I would’ve stayed stuck in the self-doubt, overwhelm, and false guilt.
Are you ready to say yes to you? It does not have to be an out of town event.
IN MY BRAND NEW MENTORSHIP PROGRAM: LIVING FULLY ALIVE CIRCLE
I am coming alongside women who are ready to RISE, but DON’T KNOW HOW!
I am leading women who are ready to “show up” for themselves, but have been stuck in self-doubt and overwhelm.
Are you ready to take a JOURNEY HOME TO THE REAL YOU?
THERE IS NO SELFISHNESS IN ACCEPTING AND LOVING ALL OF YOU!
LIVING FULLY ALIVE IS POSSIBLE FOR YOU! SO COME JOIN ME!
GET ALL THE DETAILS HERE:
YOUR AWAKENING, RISING, AND FREEDOM is ONE CLICK AWAY!
P.S. - Join me LIVE every Tuesday 10:30am CST on my FACEBOOK PAGE - “Ashley White Wellness” - where I give you encouragement and tools to help you on your journey of awakening, accepting, rising, and returning to the REAL YOU.
