Use your Pain Purposefully

Use your pain purposefully

A few years ago, my husband and I got into a “heated discussion” and my opinion and concerns seemed to not matter. At the moment, I felt invisible and overlooked. If I were to be completely honest I would have to say I was mad, hurt, and I even cried. However, once the tears started, I felt insecure and even more frustrated, so I went into productivity mode and starting cleaning my closet while pushing down the sting of pain. Productivity used to make me feel better. But this night it was different. I had been on my healing journey long enough to know the power of pain and this was a golden opportunity.

So, I pushed pause in my mind and brought awareness to what was truly going on in my internal world. I sensed this had little to do with the “heated discussion,” but more so to do with something operating inside my unconsciousness. Then, I accepted where I was in that present moment, (mad, frustrated, hurt) because I knew this piece of pain was purposeful and I had a choice to make.  So, then I asked the question, “What is this pain revealing in my heart? What is the root of this feeling? “Show me, God!”.  

And in the stillness, I suddenly remembered standing on the middle school playground in a circle. There were two team captains and each were picking teams to play kickball. The circle slowly became two distinct lines until only one person was left. And that one person was me and I was dying on the inside. My thoughts swirled within as I fought back tears, “Was I that bad? Why didn’t anyone want me? What was wrong with me?”. It was as if I was invisible. Not seen. Or seen, yet not good enough to be chosen. My little heart shattered!

It was in that moment I subconsciously made a vow, “Fine, I’ll show them; I’ll figure out how to be what they will like; I’ll never let them not want to choose me again.” This was the beginning of a long road producing my worth and people pleasing to get approval. And living from the neck up began, which I call “head-living.” I shut down my heart, took a few steps away from my truest self and built a false façade, then I began living behind the mask. The mask of productivity, people pleasing, selflessness, purchasing my worth, and so much more. What do I need to “do” for others so I can be worthy? What do I need to do to be chosen? 

THE TRUTH GOD REVEALED: I believed I had to “do” to “be”. I believed I had to produce something of worth to be worthy.  It was a lie and I lived under the spell of it for most of my life. It was not until I learned about my wounds, their messages, my subconscious vows, and how to renounce them that the mask began falling off. This piece of my healing journey was crucial in uncovering and embracing my truest self. What I discovered was my pain had a powerful purpose! And my pain was an asset to more healing. You see, yes, my argument with my husband was hurtful. However, instead of running from what I was feeling, I ran into it. And inside that pain was a golden gateway to the root of an old wound that God wanted to heal. 

HEAR ME BEAUTIFUL ONE! It is time for you to rise up, stop pushing down your pain with productivity and people pleasing, and start being present in your pain so you can heal. Your pain can be a beautiful asset to reveal golden nuggets of limiting mindsets and unconscious vows. It can be a powerful tool to opening a door to more healing and wholeness that God has available for you. Your pain will not consume you if you feel it. You will be okay. It is worth it my friend. YOU ARE WORTH IT! 

As women, one of our biggest struggles is not being enough! 

  • Not pretty enough
  • Not smart enough
  • Not skinny enough
  • Not good enough

Have you ever felt not enough? 

Do these feelings subconsciously dictate your life?

Have you ever asked when and where did this belief start? 

Have you ever asked for God to reveal the lie and speak His truth?


Are you ready to stop producing, purchasing, and people pleasing to obtain your worth? Click here to watch my IGTV story on this very topic. Click here and get on the waitlist for my new 6-week online program “Fully Alive”. 


  • Connect with women in their stories. 
  • Be seen and heard in a safe space
  • Purpose your pain.
  • Experience healing and cultivate wholeness.
  • Uncover and embrace your truest self so you can live awakened and authentic and fully alive, free! 


How Do You See Yourself?

I have lived most of my life asleep to myself, sleeping and hiding on a mat of fear, shame, people-pleasing, powerlessness, and insecurity continuously feeling overlooked and alone. So, when I read the story in John 5 of the “man on the mat”, I easily related. 

You see – for 38 years this man laid on his mat of brokenness, doubt, insecurity, shame, and powerlessness. He was overlooked daily and these continuous experiences caused him to believe there was nothing different, no way to change, no hope, no one to help him, and no way out of his crippling situation. He blamed everyone around him for his stagnant life. Yet he got comfortable in his desert and he hid his heart from himself. 

His inner negative thoughts ruled his outer world until one day an opportunity came and he had a choice to “do something different”. Jesus stepped onto the pages of his lies, saw him in his brokenness, and called him up and out of hiding. 

“So Jesus said to him, ‘Do you truly long to be healed?’………..Stand up! Pick up your sleeping mat and you will walk!’.

“Immediately he stood up- he was healed!” His heart awakened! Wow!  

You see, Jesus was asking this cripple man If was ready to abandon how HE SEES HIMSELF and now receive the faith for healing. Did he want to be made whole? Did he want to see himself differently? For him to become whole and healed he had to change his perception! He had to change his limiting beliefs and how he saw himself.

How we see ourselves is crucial and effects everything! 

When we feel overlooked it’s easy to see ourselves as inadequate, not good enough, not chosen, and even something must be wrong with me. These limiting beliefs will keep us on our mat of fear, doubt, and defeat. But we don’t have to stay there!

How do you see yourself today?

Do you feel overlooked and alone?

Are you ready to wake up, abandon how YOU SEE YOURSELF, stand up, and receive the faith for healing and wholeness? 

If you answered yes, I have GOOD NEWS for you.

Wholeness and healing is your inheritance.

Changing how you see yourself is possible! And I am proof!

Are you ready to become your truest self? Come join me and we will journey together!

I am creating a new 6-week online program where we will journey together to awaken your heart and discover and process the things that have kept you stuck. You will uncover hidden wounds, limiting beliefs, and unconscious vows. You will learn how to nourish, love, accept, and heal yourself physically, spiritually, and emotionally. You will learn how to recognize your triggers and use them as golden gateways to more healing and up-leveling. You will have weekly teachings, meditations, assignments, live FB Q&A’s, and so much more.

Are you ready to experience healing and cultivate wholeness so you can live empowered and live your purpose with passion?

This healing journey will allow you to be seen and heard in a safe space, give you practical tools to live differently, teach you how to feel again, empower you to live from your heart and not just your head, and restore back to you what has been stolen so you can live fully alive and wildly free.

To be the first to get all the details go now and sign up!

What is Beauty Fully Alive?

What is Beauty Fully Alive?

Beauty Fully Alive is a dream God placed in my heart about 15 years ago. In 2016 this dream was birthed and the first Beauty Fully Alive Women’s retreat was launched. It was beyond my wildest dreams and God showed off. The retreat is a weekend for women who are hungry and thirsty for wholeness, holiness, and freedom to come away and pursue the heart of God, because He is pursing us.

What is Beauty? Every woman desires to be beautiful and feel beautiful. Beauty draws us. It captivates our gaze and stirs a hunger deep within. We see beauty in sunrises, vibrant sunsets, the new blooms of springtime flowers, the roaring ocean waters, the bride on her wedding day, the vibrant red of a new lipstick shade, the beautiful design of a cozy sweater, or even a fabulous pair of leather boots. Beauty is everywhere and it ushers in a stirring deep within our hearts, which many times we cannot articulate. Physical and earthly beauty reminds us of the beauty of God, our Creator, who made everything beautiful in its time. (Ecclesiastes 3:11a) Beauty is essential to God and therefore essential to our lives.

What is Fully? We live physically full, yet spiritually malnourished. We drink the torrent waters of the world, but thirst for the everlasting, quenching, abundant waters of God’s word. We eat, but we are famished! We rest but we are exhausted! We get up and give up. We splurge on social media and lack the fulfilling of God’s word. This is not “just the way it is”. This is not the end of your story. This is your beginning.  There is MORE! Jesus is calling, Arise my darling, beautiful one, and come away with me. Beauty Fully Alive is an invitation for you personally to satiate your appetite on the feasting of God’s word, to satisfy your true hunger pains, and nourish your body, mind, heart, and soul – from the inside out!

What is Alive? If you are breathing, you have been broken. We tend to let the bitterroot of brokenness dictate our lives. We vow to protect our hearts and play it safe.  We don’t take risks. We hide. We keep the rules and the score.  We don’t offer to others, and we dare not live or love with vulnerabilities. Therefore, we become numb to the desires, gifts, and longings God placed in us from the beginning. Basically, we learn to live with dead hearts.

This is not living ALIVE in Christ! God promised abundant life to those who believe. Jesus has MORE for us! When we daily walk with Him, encounter His love, and learn His truth, we then, experience healing and our hearts awaken to who we are called to be – whole and Holy. His love awakens our hearts; dead things come to life, and His glory is revealed.

Your heart fully ALIVE is Beauty Fully ALIVE! God’s beauty in you. Gods fullness in you. And His life alive in you. It starts on the inside and works its way outward.

Beauty Fully Alive is an invitation to more. It is a weekend for you to come away and replenish, re-nourish, and revive your heart!

Will you dare to answer His call, His personal invitation to MORE? Oh I hope to see you there.







I was praying for death, but God offered me new LIFE! And out of that this women’s retreat was birthed. 3 Days left to REGISTER for this amazing women’s retreat. 

In the garden Eve reached out for food – a less than false lover! We are still reaching out today for the things of this world to fill us up. Our cravings control us. We feel powerless over our struggles, and we can’t seem to experience real freedom. However, we are Daughter’s of the King, and victory is possible. We want a quick easy fix, but it is a process. One step. One choice – over and over and over and over. We have been given power  to overcome and live free through God’s truth and resurrection. Now it is time to: Take hold. Shake off the past. Rise up. & Sit enthroned. ARE YOU READY?

For all the details and to register please click her – HURRY

Watch this video for my personal testimony! I was praying for death, but God offered me new LIFE! And out of that this women’s retreat was birthed.

He Called My Name





Severe Flooding Washes in Unity

Severe Flooding Washes in Unity

The morning came with normalcy and everyone throughout the cities went about their ordinary routines. The rains began moving in yet little did we know what was fixing to unfold. Weather forecasts or often a little off and many assumed the rains would not be as severe as predicted. We were wrong! They were right!

The rains came and stayed. Day after day torrential down pours equaling around twenty inches. Flood alerts were being predicted everywhere. Yet many ignored the warnings. Day three and panic was widespread. People evacuating leaving everything behind, others staying put hoping for the rain to let up. But it kept raining, raining, and raining. Waters were rising rapidly in places unpredictable. Houses began flooding; Levees breaking; Water-pumps failing; Roads washing away; Interstates closing; And several lives were lost. The devastation and heartbreak was just beginning. The crisis was wide spread. Social media was blowing up with pictures of the significance of the events happening all around and people were desperate.

And then it happened.

The body of Christ began functioning the way we were created to – UNITED! Adults, kids, teenagers all coming out of their safe homes in the pouring rain for one cause – helping others! It did not matter if you were a friend; neighbor or complete stranger the body of Christ was reaching out in love and being selfless. People wanted to help. It’s a deep desire within us to live in a larger story. We are called to more. We long for something bigger than ourselves and it was right in front of us. And we took hold. Unity was being washed upon us.

Thinking back on the devastating beauty of what was happening (I get tears typing this now) I saw people of all ages, color, nationality, and gender offering them selves in a broad spectrum of ways: running dump trucks of sand to targeted areas, sandbagging, delivering and placing sandbags, moving things from flood victims homes, making sandwiches and picking up food and delivering it to workers, giving money, clothes, and countless other needed items, housing those with no place to go, rescuing animals, boating strangers to safety, boating people to check on their homes, ripping up wet moldy carpet, tearing down saturated walls, loading up school buses of baseball players to help out a coach who lost everything, and so much more than I can not type on this page. Local churches came together and organized  plans to set up different stations at different churches. Teams were being organized daily to meet the urgent needs of a vast number of people around us. In all this unity, restoration, healing, togetherness was happening. What the enemy meant for harm and destruction, God would begin using for unity, and good. Only Jesus could do this.

The floodwaters moving through our cities brought great loss and wreckage. However, the Spirit of the Living God rode in on the raging waters doing what only He can do. He is bringing about change. Changing our focus; Washing us clean; Making all things new; Awakening our hearts; Restoring our souls; We see devastation and loss. He see’s opportunities for new beginnings and a holy cleansing. He is washing our hearts clean; He is washing away sins, bondage, and the old man nature; He hears our cries. His ways are higher than our ways. HE IS WITH US!

As the rain and the snow

come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.

Isaiah 55:10-11

Many even today still have water in their homes; others are beginning the process of demolition, others have lost their homes, cars and everything. The devastation is still all around – However, Our Great God will take the ashes and make beauty. Only He can call the body of Christ out to become united. And united we are! We are all still working together to rebuild our community. The severe flooding has washed away many things, but it has also washed in UNITY and that is a beautiful thing!

This is God’s Beauty coming fully ALIVE

If you are hungry for more — please check out this women’s retreat happening APRIL 8-10!




This. Happened. WOW.

This. Happened. WOW.

Tears streaming. Heart yearning. I pined for understanding. Then – this happened – WOW! Standing in a room filled with two thousand people, I heard, “The very thing you were created for is the very thing the enemy has tirelessly come after!” Wait – What? “You were created to inhabit your beauty then offer it to others and your beauty is what the enemy from day one has attempted to vandalize.” I was speechless. I jotted these sentences down.

Hours before I wanted to catch a flight home and now this. WOW! I signed up for this event, “Restoration of the Heart”, five months ago. I did not know how full my schedule would be and I did not know I would have an empty heart. I prayed continuously if I should cancel (and there were many reason to do so), but the answer was always – no. The day of travel came with many unexpected turns, roadblocks, delayed flights, and heart breaking news. I had to fight harder than usual not to throw my hands up, make an excuse, and hi-tail it back to my comfortable place. I was tired. I missed my husband and kiddos. My hormones were beyond wacked. The tug of war was significant and I called in my prayer warriors to pray for me. I knew more was happening than what my eyes could see. Yet I was weary. The enemy despised me moving towards Jesus and he pulled out all stops. He hates growth, healing, revelation, truth, redemption, and wholeness, and he hates restoration! I had to fight to get there. I had to fight to stay there. And I had to fight to receive what God my Father had for me —- and fight I did. I would call that “a good fight”!

In my hotel room later that night I laid these profound sentences, from earlier, out before the Lord. I asked Jesus for deeper revelation and understanding. In His loving kindness He poured out truth and began restoring my soul.

WOW – I would like to share a snippet:

We are born with God-given gifts, talents, dreams, and passions. The enemy knows how effective we will be for the Kingdom of light if we have our hearts restored and begin to live from our hearts alive. Therefore, he comes on the scene of our lives early with lies, disappointments, distractions, violations, heartbreaks, and manipulation. Sometimes it is subtle. Other times it is violently blatant. Regardless, we are all far from Eden and we are not yet who we are called to be. Our wounds distort the truth of our worth and we attempt to make sense of life through our broken lenses. The enemy comes to the very specific places where we behold our greatest beauty, passion, giftedness, and glory.

The very thing we long to offer is often the very thing we struggle with freeing ourselves from.

Does that make sense? Please stay with me – this is HUGE! Here is a personal example to help bring clarity: I desire deeply to educate, empower, and encourage women to discover their value, inhabit their beauty, and live confident, healthy, alive, and free. YET — these are the very things the enemy came to steal from me at a very young age (and he still comes). He came yesterday on my way to the conference. He was attempting to steal my confidence, kill my desires, and destroy the beauty I have begun to step into. How could I possibly teach women about inhabiting their true beauty when I believed I had no beauty of my own to offer? BINGO!

My life was altered drastically when I encountered Jesus Christ in an intimate and personal way at the age of 33. I had known Him almost all my life, but He seemed far from my reach. Yet this day He came for my heart. I received His love and allowed His truth to become my compass. It has been a dance of surrendering and grabbing hold. I have discovered along the way I do have a unique beauty to offer and I am of great value. It’s a process, a fight, a re-writing of my story. And as I continue in my quest for wholeness and holiness, He restores my soul. He revives my heart. He ignites my passions. He awakens my dreams. He heals my brokenness. He bestows my beauty. He offers me life. This is what I long for. This is Beauty fully ALIVE!

My mission and the purpose of women’s retreat is to take the hands of other women and lead them to experience the same freedom transformation. I use my experiences, knowledge of healthy holy living and love for God and His word to usher women into the most beautiful dance of their lives. I am fiercely devoted to educating, empowering, and encouraging women to discover their value, inhabit their beauty, and live confident, healthy, alive, and free. You are His sunshine! Your heart matters! You are beautiful!


Beauty fully ALIVE” women’s retreat is taking place April 8-10 (in just four weeks- EEK!). It is an invitation to MORE! Not a selfish more. A holy more! More growth. More wholeness. More healing. More truth. More restoration. More redemption. More purpose. More dreams. More validation. More beauty. For all the details, list of guest speakers, cost, and registration – CLICK HERE NOW! Oh and please know – the enemy will not let you come to this event easily! You will have to be intentional! You will have to fight for freedom. BUT IT is WORTH IT! Together we will RISE!

Space is limited!





Beauty Fully Alive

Beauty Fully Alive

Join us for a weekend event as we journey into the deep desires of every woman’s heart to be beautiful. Every woman longs to be pursued, healthy, energetic, whole, fought for, appreciated, irreplaceable, and free. We will dive into each of these topics uncovering truths attached to our core desires.

The Beautiful Bride

The Beautiful Bride

What do you think of when I say the word BRIDE? Being a bride is much more than wearing the perfect white dress and saying: “I do”. Being the ultimate bride is saying YES to Jesus Christ. When you say, “I do” to Him it is transformational. He is your greatest lover; nothing nor no one will ever compare. This “yes” is a journey.  This “yes” is giving permission for your heart to become fully alive. This “yes” is giving Him permission to remove your veil alowing the true you and your beauty to become fully alive.

It is the most important “yes” you will ever utter.   Are you ready for more?

He is waiting for you at the altar of grace.

I said a real YES many years ago and out of that this poem was birthed. It blows me away every time I read it. God has continued the unveiling of my true beauty, and I am in AH! I am His bride! So are you!  Read ON beautiful one —-



Chains of bondage wrapped so tight

One mistake after another, every day and night


Who had I become, and was their any end

To the misery, pain, and bondage I was living in


My truth had been distorted, and my heart stripped away

Would I always feel this worthless and picked “over” day by day


I continued to give what I had, thinking surely one would see

I was worth something, and one would give back to me


But how could I give away, what I did not ever contain

How could I freely love, when all I felt was shame


If only I could stop this ride and start all over again

Surely I would do things different, and not heap sin upon sin


Please someone tell me, there is something better or more

Tell me that there is “light” behind these dark and heavy doors


Am I only fooling myself, and this is “just the way it is”?

And now I must exist in the chains of bondage, scars, and mess


And then one day the WORDS came to me

It is “’I’ that you need, take My hand and I’ll set you free”


Who me? The broken one, rejected, scarred, and shamed

Yes you! My chosen one, now let Me have your chains


If you will  put your hand in Mine, and obey my glorious call

I will take you down the road less traveled and restore it to you all


Where ashes once were heaped, only beauty will reside

More beautiful than ever the Kinsman Redeemer’s Bride


No permanent mourning, nor sorrow, nor sin to keep us apart

I pour upon you my oil of gladness, and redeem your broken heart


I will put joy in your heart and give you a garment of praise

And display you for My splendor for the rest of your days


The Bride of the Prince of Peace, the beautiful Bride of the King

You will wear my Robe of Righteousness, and I will wear all other things


I have redeemed you, restored you, and set you free

Now take My hand, and dance in liberty


You are My precious child, only fit for the King

Now live like you believe Me, and I will bless you beyond your dreams


I am not asking you to do it alone, just seek Me with all your heart

I am your Kinsman Redeemer, and I will do your part


I have sprinkled you with My blood, and washed you white as snow.

You were bought with My Life, now you are beaming with My Glow


My faithful promises are your armor, so sore on eagle’s wings

You are Redeemed and Restored; you are the BRIDE OF THE KING!


Ashley White (2005)







Desperate for God

Desperate for God

Thumbing though old journals, desperate for God to speak, when my eyes fell upon this entry from many years ago. It was a powerful reminder of how far my Good and Faithful Father and has brought me. It was also one of the key unveilings of my true beauty. However, there are many, and every one of them is intertwined and significant to my beauty becoming fully ALIVE. Also, each have played a crucial role in birthing this amazing new women’s retreat coming this April 8-10th “Beauty fully ALIVE”.

Let me share one unveiling now:

A few years into my second marriage the Lord began awakening a passion in me for women’s hearts and their marriages. But as this passion grew unexpected warfare plummeted into my own young marriage – which immediately led to the enemy’s whispers… ”How can you teach other women when you can’t even get it right yourself”? I realized in that moment my greatest struggle was also my deepest passion. And I was desperate for God.

Over the next three years every time there would be a heated discussion between my husband and me I would resent, keep score, pout, personalize, internalize, compare, push away, want revenge, and vow to not need him so much again. His words regardless of their intent were like daggers, which penetrated deeply. Unknowingly I left fragmented pieces festering where they pierced me and they oozed bloody lies covering the truth I was desperate for.

This continued on and off. I would fight “worldly”, then surrender, diligently seek the Lord, then feel stronger, be loving, then make failed attempts to be a good wife. Ultimately each strategy failed. I thought I was praying all the right prayers, memorizing all the right scriptures, attending all the right Bible Studies, cooking all the right meals, doing all the right things. Yet it was all performance = acceptance driven. I no longer dared be vulnerable so I performed. However, my performance mentality left my heart falsely satisfied, desperate, and thirsty for more.

I could not seem to shake this defensive attitude or this hunger, and he could not seem to penetrate my wall. What was going on? I wanted to be loving, vulnerable, forgiving, and inviting, but behind my wall there was failed striving. I was desperate for God and cried out. WHY GOD? Here I am with a passionate heart to help women, but no matter what, I keep failing.

A few months went by and everywhere I went I heard: “as a deer pants for water so my soul thirst for you.” Okay Lord, yes I am thirsty. Then a guest singer came to our church; guess what he sang? Yep – “As a Deer Pants for Water so My Soul Thirst for You”. Then the very next morning on my daily walk I veered off the road and made my way down to the waters edge. Standing straight across the lake from me was a beautiful deer coming down for a refreshing drink. The floodgates of my heart burst forth and I cried vigorously, “Lord, what are you trying to tell me? I know I am thirsty and desperate for You, but what else? What are you up to?”

And then the dance to unveiling my beauty began.

Through the next several weeks I was led to read and watch John and Stasi Eldredge’s books and DVD’s (Captivating and Wild at Heart). The truth was astounding. I had been in darkness veiled and blind. But, now He was removing my veil one layer at a time, and revelation like the ocean waters began pounding over my stone wall wave after wave. My eyes and ears were opened to life altering truth. Darkness turned to light. I wept for days! It was sweet, refreshing, and covered in grace. He revealed to me I was severely broken, shattered, wounded, and bleeding profusely. I kept performing, attending, memorizing and learning but there was no intimacy, relationship, healing, integration, nor trust. I was trying to offer life and love from behind this broken, wounded, mangled, and distorted place. Therefore, what I offered was exactly that. It was a severe heart issue. I HAD NO IDEA!

Through this new journey of His wooing and pursuing my heart, the Lord showed me my “defensive attitude” was actually built out of starvation, desperation, and protection. I had been wounded in the past from other men, and with each wound I began constructing a grand yet deadly wall around my heart. Unintentionally I drug the old wall of stone right into my new marriage and tried my best to love freely and wholly from behind it. Needless to say I failed –again and again and again! What I built for protection was imprisoning me.

Praise Jesus- Praise Jesus that was not the end of my story. No, He did not forsake me nor leave my heart to die behind my wall of stone. The dance to freedom continued as I sought Him like never before. Hand and hand we began tearing down the wall one brick at a time, and replacing each with garments of truth, love, healing, wholeness, and restoration. Once parched, weary, overcome, and walled in, I was now becoming beautiful, satisfied, refreshed, victorious, alive, and free. He was awakening my heart to more, and quenching my thirsty soul.

This chapter of my story has increased my passion for women’s hearts. Remembering it has reconfirmed my deep desire to educate, inspire, encourage, and usher other women into freedom. It’s also one chapter upon many others which led me to offer my new women’s retreat, “Beauty fully ALIIVE”.  This gathering of women is an invitation to MORE. He is calling His daughters to:







Beauty fully ALIVE

He will not force His way in; He wants to be invited. He does not want your performance, perfection, rules, or religion. He wants your heart so He can begin unveiling your beauty and revive your heart to becoming fully ALIVE! There is a great unveiling waiting for you, and it is time for MORE!


Retreat speakers and guest: Ashley White, Pat Domangue, Melanie Massey, Tallie Maybray, Amber Zambie, Michelle Crouse, Gary Ratcliff, Lindsey Nadler, Kelsey Bohl, Kathy Boggs, and Dana Milford – WHOA!




Why Change?

Why Change?

Change is on the horizon yet my heart is resistant – “why change”? I am too busy, and it is the last thing I feel like doing. However, it’s the most needed. Why can’t I see it clearly? Distracted with life’s curve balls, children, family, business adventures, and many “good things” I am tempted to hang onto the threads of lies. Their familiarity brings false comfort and part of me likes it – so I think. God is calling me to more change, yet my wondering mind is tempted to hide and remain busy. Excuses mount. Rebellion rises. Lies lurk. Stubbornness surmounts. There is a thickness in the air of change, and I must choose to push through the unknown, rise up,  and trust the One leading me out. It’s my choice.

In the midst of my chaos and questions I sense more nudging. I must obey. I stop, wait, and listen; and there in the stillness. His grace abounds. His love draws me out, and His light begins to penetrate the shattered fearful places within. His change for me is not to take away but to give more. His change is only an agent to usher me into more wholeness, freedom, and sweetness. He see’s my desperate need. Why can’t I? Why do I resist? What the enemy means for harm, numbness, and destruction God is using for His glory, restoration, and new life.

Although change is hard, it’s the fear of change that holds me captive. When I began viewing change as “a new frontier”, and began asking God, “what He is up to in the midst of this new frontier” – my perspective starts to change. My fear of change is losing its grip; not because I like change, but because I trust the One who has gone before me. I am not trusting the air, nor is my life up to chance – NO, I know the One who is leading me onward, upward, and into more. He is on the front lines of my life’s story. He is in the details, and He is in the change.

As I invite Him in and give Him full access to my heart, He is removes the layers one by one and calls me forward from glory to glory. If I never changed I would become stale, stagnant, stubborn, and calloused. But He longs for more for his daughter. He pursues my heart relentlessly. He desires for my heart, mind, body, and soul to be renewed, alive, obedient, awakened, and restored. He desires for me to become more like Him with every ounce of change that comes my way.  And I am not alone.

More change. More like Jesus — What a beautiful change that is!





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